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The Don Imus story makes me uncomfortable -- and I hope it makes news leaders queasy, too. No one, not even those who praise the man's philanthropy, defends the sexist, racist spittle he aimed at the women of Rutgers.

But where have we all been before this? Sample "Imus in the Morning" frequently enough and it's clear that Imus and company can be clever and funny, but too often misogynistic and racially insensitive.

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Did the journalists and politicians who made guest appearances really listen to the program content that bookended them? Did they know they were playing in the pig pen? If so, why did they appear? Was it cool to be in his club and reap whatever benefits accrued? Status? Book sales? Celebrity?

Everyone has an Imus opinion now, but the conversation is narrowly focused on his show, or rap music, or racism. Oddly, sexism has taken a back seat in this discussion. Kudos to the Journalism and Women Symposium, an organization of women journalists, for adding its voice to the conversation.

Don't you wonder how his MSNBC colleague Contessa Brewer, whom Imus reportedly called a "pig" and a "skank" on his program, is feeling these days?

Maybe we've become inured to ugliness -- even lured to it.

Even the least-talented radio or TV host, opinion columnist or blogger can snipe. Snark, after all, is seen by some as "authentic voice." Just keeping things real. And the closer it edges to the truly unacceptable, the more attention -- and sometimes audience -- it draws. It's "ear porn" -- appealing to those who are attracted by the public degradation of others, the more cutting the better.

The ad hominem attack has become so much a part of our media culture that I suspect Imus was acting within the bounds of what he thought his audience wanted and his bosses valued.

That takes us to those bosses, the leaders. If they hire and hold sacred those who produce ratings by any means necessary, shouldn't they be held as accountable as their stars?

What would happen if the top managers had to pay the same price as Don Imus? If they were evaluated on quality of content as well as quantity of revenue generated? If, when Imus or others have to walk the plank, the bosses had to follow?

If you're a news manager or media executive, this might make you uncomfortable. Perhaps it should. Instead of looking at this as someone else's misfortune, consider looking inward. That can be a productive exercise in discomfort.

To that end:

• If you schedule guests for your programs for their vitriol as much or more than their knowledge, be uncomfortable.

• If you think it's OK to book yourself or your colleagues as guests on a show despite its forays into smear and slime -- justifying it as a valuable marketing opportunity -- be uncomfortable.

• If you look around your organization and see few women or people of color in positions of power and influence, people who believe they can push back against bad decisions, be uncomfortable.

• If you're not sure whether to categorize members of your staff as journalists or entertainers, be uncomfortable.

• If the only values you talk about are bottom-line, be uncomfortable.

• If you think because rap music contains offensive language, everyone else should be free to use it, be uncomfortable.

• If you think "pushing the envelope" is fine as long as it brings in ratings and revenue, be uncomfortable.

• If you look the other way at racist, sexist or crude, cruel personal attacks in the comments pages of your Web site, be uncomfortable.

• If you think it would be too expensive to develop a system for dealing with such attacks, be uncomfortable.

• If you don't know the difference between critical thinking, self-control and censorship, be uncomfortable.

• If you think free speech and hate speech are indistinguishable and inseparable, be uncomfortable.

The most comforting example of leadership I witnessed during this whole mess didn't come from the NBC or CBS executives who dropped the Imus show.

It came from the members of the Scarlet Knights team in their news conference, who spoke in thoughtful, measured tones about anger and pain. They stood their ground and never took a cheap shot at their assailant. Without so much as a raised voice, these young women demonstrated the value of reason in the face of outrage. You don't know us, they said.

They're right.

It's a lot harder to treat those you know the way Imus treated the Rutgers women, even in the name of ratings and revenue.

Isn't that an uncomfortable thought? And isn't it time to stop talking about Don Imus the performer and start talking about ourselves as leaders?